


please get me a new partner

by esmeraldablazingsky



Category: Naruto
Genre: ????????? - Freeform, Akatsuki - Freeform, Crack, Fair Games, HiDei - Freeform, Humor, Idiots, M/M, deidara and his unfairly attractive smile, hidan swearing, or in this case unfair games, what the fuck is the ship name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 06:08:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11731074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmeraldablazingsky/pseuds/esmeraldablazingsky
Summary: Hidan switches partners, thinking he'll get a fucking break for once. He was wrong.(Deidara drags them both to a fair, and obviously all fair games are rigged.)





	please get me a new partner

When he'd asked to switch partners with Sasori for a week, this was not what Hidan had expected. All he'd been hoping for was a break from Kakuzu's constant withering stare and grouchy countenance, but... in retrospect, it was a bit of a mistake. 

"Hidannnn, it's been two hours, can we go yet?" groaned Deidara, draping himself melodramatically over a rock and letting out an exaggerated sigh. 

"Have some respect, you fucking heathen," snapped Hidan from where he lay on the ground in a circle of blood, wishing that the sharp pain in his chest did more to distract him from his temporary partner's incessant whining.

"I didn't want to do this in the first place," complained Deidara. "You've gotta owe me something after making me put up with all this stupid ritual stuff, un." He took a deep breath, presumably to grumble more about Hidan's (extremely necessary, fuck you) rituals, but Hidan cut him off, having finally had enough. 

"Okay, you impatient little motherfucker, I'll owe you for a day after this," he said, more out of frustration than anything, then immediately regretted it when Deidara giggled- seriously giggled- and slid his gaze over to Hidan, that stupid smirk of his flashing over his face. 

"Okay," he agreed. "But a deal's a deal, so no backing out, un." Hidan stayed silent for a few seconds, reluctant to acknowledge the situation he'd just gotten himself into, but Deidara cleared his throat impatiently and Hidan sighed through clenched teeth. 

"Fuck you," he spat.

"So that's a yes," said Deidara. "Great, I'll stop complaining now." 

\---

"Hidan, you have to win me something," demanded Deidara the next day. He'd dragged them off to a fair, which wasn't too bad on its own, but he was acting even more like a petulant child than he normally did, and it was taking all of Hidan's willpower not to just take the easy route out and lop his damn head off. A deal was a deal, but this one really fucking sucked. 

"Fine, fine," muttered Hidan, paying for his turn at the game stall and trying to ignore Deidara's gleefully anticipatory expression as he surveyed his latest torture. Sweet Jashin, he wished he'd just put up with Deidara's complaining for a little while longer. 

The game seemed to be something along the lines of "knock down all the stacked bowls and win a prize," but clearly it was rigged- the light projectiles that the stall owner had handed Hidan were obviously insufficient to get the job done. 

Next to Hidan, Deidara's smile was getting wider with every passing second, which kind of pissed Hidan off for a multitude of reasons, none of which he really wanted to think about, but you know, fuck it. He shifted his weight for the first throw and launched the first rubber ball as hard as he could in the direction of the pyramid of bowls he was supposed to be demolishing, but it hit the back wall instead and ricocheted around for a moment, miraculously not hitting a single bowl. Hidan swore and Deidara snorted derisively beside him, grey-blue eyes darting over to Hidan's face and sparkling with suppressed laughter. 

"Shut up," said Hidan, readying another throw. He had three more balls after this one, surely at least one of them would knock the whole pyramid over. Surely. 

His second throw clipped the edge of the pyramid and knocked one of the bowls tantalizingly off-balance. It wasn't a bad shot, or so Hidan thought, but Deidara was muffling laughter in one hand and man, it'd be worth it to win just to shut his dumb face right the fuck up. Hidan chucked the third ball as hard as he could right at the base of the pyramid, and the whole damn thing shifted over without toppling in the least, cuing a bout of furious cursing from Hidan and a short, bright peal of mirthful laughter from Deidara. 

"You're really bad at this," commented Deidara after Hidan messed up the fourth throw. 

"Fuck you," said Hidan, turning to glare at his infuriatingly blonde partner, but his gaze ended up resting just a little too long on Deidara's lips, the corners of which tugged up into a knowing smile. 

"Go on, you have one more try," prompted Deidara, the grin reaching his eyes and turning into a devilish, cocky smirk that Hidan would love to just punch right off his face. 

"Motherfucker," Hidan swore under his breath as he turned back to the offending stall, trying to ignore Deidara's poorly stifled laughter. He said a prayer, cocked his arm back behind his head, and flung the ball as hard as it would go into the middle of the bowls. There was a shattering noise and the shop owner ducked as one of the bowls exploded into hundreds of pieces of blue-and-white porcelain that clattered against the walls and floor. Hidan snuck a glance at Deidara- that lopsided grin was back on his face, and he flicked his hair over his shoulder in an irritatingly casual motion as his eyes met Hidan's and his smile grew impossibly wider. 

"Why didn't you just do that the first time?" he asked. Hidan glared at him for a solid fifteen seconds, not even bothering to come up with a suitable swearword to describe what he was feeling at that exact moment, which happened to be a cross between frustration, anger, and an unbidden attraction to Deidara's sassy, snarky demeanor. Fuck. 

"Choose a prize," said the shop owner, who looked a bit the worse for wear. 

"Well, you told me to do this fucking dumbass thing in the first place," grumbled Hidan. "Pick your damn prize." 

"Sure," said Deidara, pointing arbitrarily to one of the enormous stuffed animals hanging from the ceiling. "I really just wanted to watch you do it, un." 

"I'm going to ask for my partner back," muttered Hidan. "I don't care if Kakuzu tries to kill me every three days, this is a new form of hell." Deidara, damn it all, just winked and took Hidan's hand to pull him off into the fair again, lacing his delicate artist's fingers with Hidan's and tossing his hair so it winked golden in the sun. Fuck, thought Hidan. What terrible thing did he do to deserve this? Deidara spun around to look Hidan in the eyes and okay, he had to know what he was doing. He stopped to let Hidan catch up, then stood on his toes to whisper in his ear. 

"Still wish you'd stayed with Kakuzu?" he asked.

"Obviously," muttered Hidan, in one of the most blatant lies he'd ever told. He could practically feel Deidara's silent laughter as he was pulled into a quiet alcove between stalls, warm hands tugging at the forehead protector tied around his neck. 

"I bet you do," said Deidara, pulling him into a kiss. "I bet you do." 

~end~

**Author's Note:**

> hey what's up I'm tired please comment it would really make my day <3


End file.
